shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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