it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
