i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
