Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
