You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
