..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
