what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize