a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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