you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
