I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
