Porn is love you can see.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
