woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I wear drunk well.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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