I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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