im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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