no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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