Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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