What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
