I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
