16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
