Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
He felt like a one man threesome
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
