Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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