jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
