As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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