He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
