Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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