dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
