P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
