I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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