The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
