i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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