He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
