so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
