just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
