No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
