Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
OPIZZABONMYDICK
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
