You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
