Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
