Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
