I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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