I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
