"it" just moved
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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