i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
