bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
