you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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