the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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