none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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