I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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