We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I have tasted many bathrooms
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
