I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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