She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
