The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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