So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
