The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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