May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
