We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
