is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
we're so committed to being not committed
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