He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
