i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
