I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
