Sober January is a disaster.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
