VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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