Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
