you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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